Lord, What Have I Been Doin'?

Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?  But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.  “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.”  But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.  Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.  ~ 1 Peter 3:13-15a

Last week I had an amazing opportunity to serve in New York City on a mission trip with my school.  God showed me this verse about a week before we left and it was such an awesome encouragement while we were serving.  I had the opportunity to do some things that may have seemed frightening or at least uncomfortable for most people, but God called me to not be frightened for He did not give me a spirit of timidity (2 Timothy 1:7). 

What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds?  Can such faith save him?  Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?  In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by actions, is dead.  ~ James 2:14-17

Our first night in the city, literally an hour after stepping off the vans, we were prepping for homeless ministry.  After having been in the city for about 3 hours we were already on the streets talking with people!  I was able to pass out blankets, food, water, toiletries, and Bibles to individuals who currently spend their nights sleeping on church steps.  I was so amazed that for most of the people I talked with, they were more interested in talking with me and telling me about their day than they were about the material things I was giving them.

That night I met a man named Ted.  He laughed and joked with us, but there was always a slight sadness that one could see in his eyes as he joked.  Considering where we encountered Ted, on the church steps, it might seem obvious where his sadness was coming from.  As I talked more with him, however, I discovered that Ted had been blessed with a servant’s heart.  His sadness came out of the realization that he wanted more than anything to be serving others, but was unable to in his current situation.  He even told me that one day he wanted to do what I was doing that night.  I was so convicted.  Here is a man who has nothing other than the clothes on his back and a little bag he carries with him, wanting nothing more than to serve others, and then there was me.  God has blessed me with the ability to serve and give to others, yet what do I use that ability for?  I often claim I’m too busy or too tired.  Or I use the excuse that I’m a college student.  I don’t have money or resources that I can give away.  I go home at night and sleep on my nice comfy bed, under a couple blankets, with a roof over my head to keep me dry, air conditioning and heating to make sure I’m not too hot or cold, food in the fridge, and the list goes on.  How could I ever say that I don’t have the time, resources, or ability to serve?  How can I look at all God has blessed me with and somehow believe that I have nothing to offer?  God has blessed me that I might be a blessing to others:

I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.  ~ Genesis 12:2

That first night God showed me that these people are like the lepers of our society.  They are the ones that no one wants to approach.  We’ve probably all heard how you’re not supposed to make eye contact with people who look like they might be asking for money.  Think about it.  When was the last time you spoke to someone who may be homeless or saw anyone else speak to them?  I’m certainly guilty of it.  Too often I drive right past that person holding the cardboard sign without a second thought.  What could I possibly do for them anyways?  I discovered this week that I can do a lot.  I may not be able to give them food or clothing all the time, but I can give them my time and attention.  I can offer to pray with them.  Each person I spoke with that night I was able to pray with.  We never pushed it on them, but simply asked if we could pray with them for anything.  Without fail they eagerly agreed to allow me to pray.  Some of their prayer requests would break your heart.  I heard things like “a normal life,” “better luck,” and “socks and deodorant.”  I was talking with my sister the day after I got back about the prayer requests I heard on the street that night.  Once again I was convicted.  These people were praying for survival.  They were praying for the necessities, things I take for granted.  While I’m sitting in my room, safe and secure, praying for my wants, they’re sitting outside in the cold praying for a coat to keep them warm. 

From the words of Matthew West’s newest song, “Lord, what have I been doin’?”  I highly encourage you to take a look at the music video for this song entitled “My Own Little World.”  It does an excellent job summarizing how I felt last week.  My eyes were opened to a world outside of my own.  You can find the video at   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mHZw-7StD8.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.  ~ Isaiah 61:1

Surrender

Jesus answered, “It is written:  Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” ~ Matthew 4:4

I was raised in a denomination that, although they believe in the power of fasting, it is rarely a lesson topic or really even discussed.  It wasn’t until I was in college and at a new church that I began to understand what fasting entails and how it should be used.  Even then I didn’t entirely understand it and was often scared to attempt fasting knowing that my understanding of it was minimal.  Recently, however, God prompted me to try once again to fast and take a day to seek His face.  After talking with some friends and gaining a better understanding of what true fasting is, I made a plan to fast one day while replacing all meal times with God.  Instead of eating I prayed, read the Bible, and just asked God to show up.  He did not disappoint!

About half way through the morning as I sat in the middle of my floor, listening to my stomach growl, and talking to God, I realized how disproportionally many of us live our lives.  Typically, many of us eat three meals per day, not including snacks, yet we set aside maybe thirty minutes or an hour for God each morning (or evening).  We complete this time, sometimes with very little enthusiasm as something we can now check off our list for the day, and then continue on without another thought.  Do we do this with our meals?  Scarf down a stale slice of bread, check it off our to-do list, and keep going?  No!  Perhaps we do this on a day we are rushed, but if it is within our power, many of us would sit down and have a full, warm meal.  We would take our time with every bite, savoring its taste.  I can even think back to big family meals with fondness, remembering the array of homemade food set out before us and that content stuffed feeling when I had eaten all that I possibly could.  And yet we don’t look at our time with God in this manner.  Jesus said we don’t live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.  If we just fill our physical bellies and not our spiritual bellies, we leave our spirits starving for more.  We get to the end of the day and our spirits are famished, growling, and crying out for some morsel of Scripture to chew on.  Our time with God should not be something that is relegated to a set time in our day.  Instead it should be spanned throughout our day, just as our meals are.  That way we ensure that our spirit does not grow hungry and weak.

As I continued to dwell on this idea, I realized how much can be accomplished with a filled spirit.  If we want to encounter God and see Him move in our lives, we need to be spiritually strong, healthy, mature, and sensitive to His workings.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  ~ John 10:10

We can begin to live life with an expectancy that God wants to meet with us each and every day.  We will have a maturity, because our spirits have been well-fed, to recognize that He has far greater plans for us.  There is no limit to how often God can speak to you or how often He can touch and change your life.  He wants your life to be filled!

Finally, as my day continued, God showed me how His ability to move in my life is based on my willingness to allow Him to move.  He will not take your life from you.  He waits for you to lay it down for Him.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God, this is your spiritual act of worship.~ Romans 12:1

Amy Grant recently released a song entitled “Better than a Hallelujah” that, to me, serves as an example of what this surrender should look like.  It doesn’t have to be a prayer eloquently said with lots of flowery language.  It doesn’t truly require any words at all.   It simply needs to be the honest cry of your heart.  Whether that means you tell God you are giving your life over to Him to use for His glory or it simply means you find yourself in tears on your floor. 

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.  ~ Psalm 51:16-17

I typically don’t offer specific advice on things to do, but this advice I received from one of my professors and found it to be a very powerful display of my surrender.  Actually, I found myself doing this on my own one day and only later remembered my professor suggesting it.  She recommended finding a place to sit or lay down.  This should be a place where you are alone with God without interruption.  She then said to start talking to God and, out loud, surrender each part of your life.  Tell God you are willingly laying down your thoughts, feelings, will, relationships, body, and soul for His glory.  You can get as specific as you want and, if you allow God to lead your words, He may even reveal more that He would like you to surrender to Him.

When I did this I found myself telling God that I was done living for myself.  I began telling God how I know His plans are greater than my plans.  They may push me out of my comfort zone and put me in areas where I have to rely on Him alone for strength, but that His plans, no matter how different they may be from the plans I had, will work together for my good.  I can’t even begin to dream as big as the plans God has for me.  And His plans for you are just as huge!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.  ~ Romans 8:28

 As Beth Moore said, “I want a wild ride of a life.  It’s only a wild ride if someone else is driving!”  Lord, I’m ready to scoot into the passenger seat.  Are you?

[If you are interested in Amy Grant's song, check out this link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm5kx3xqmg0&ob=av2n]