Lessons from 30!

Today I enter a new decade!  Leading up to today I've been thinking about the many things I've learned up to this point and all the things I'd like to do better in this coming year.  Here are a list of my top ten:

1. Just ask.  When I was younger I'd rather walk out of a store without something than have to ask for help.  Now?  Who has time for that?  I'm the person who you'll likely find talking to the greeter before I even look for something myself!  Don't be afraid to ask for help or clarification.  It saves time and, often enough, saves anxiety as well!

2. Worry less about what others think.  This is an area I've improved on a lot, but hope to continue growing in.  I have spent too much time putting effort into things that don't matter to me in order to "impress" someone else.  Why?  If it's not something I'm passionate about or care about, why waste time on that when I can do something that make my heart light up?!

3. Wear it.  You know the thing.  That outfit just popped into your mind, the one you want to wear, but worry what others will think.  Maybe it's something super fancy or perhaps it's your most comfy pair of sweat pants.  Go for it!  Not sure?  See number 2.

4. Find ways to love your everyday!  Don't wait for vacation or that special trip to enjoy yourself!  Find some special little things to brighten your days.  Maybe it's baking a cake with your kids just because, taking a walk, sitting in silence with a perfect cup of coffee, jumping through the hose in your yard, whatever it is, take the time and DO IT! 

5. Take a moment each day to be grateful. I recently heard someone speak on how gratitude is the fastest way to happiness.  Take a moment each day to consider what you are thankful for.  Write it down, tell somebody, but make sure you recognize life's little blessings.

6.  Accept the change of plans with grace.  This is still an area I need major improvements in.  Life, especially life with kids, can change course very quickly and without warning.  Try not to waste time being upset or frustrated by those changes.  Instead embrace them with grace and move forward.

7. Find what you love and do it!  Discover that thing that makes you smile, gives you life, fuels your fire, and then make time to do it. 

8. Get a smaller planner!  Haha!  This may be specific to me or other Type A's out there, but seriously, get the smaller planner.  Don't schedule a week's worth of chores in one day and be upset when you can't finish it.  You don't, in fact, have super powers!  Try schedule ONE thing to do each day that must get done and then leave it at that. 

9. Find community.  This life is not meant to be lived alone.  Find your people.

10. Take care of yourself - mind, body, and soul.  Ok, here's the major one.  Practice good self-care.  Take time daily to be with God.  He will renew your spirit, give you peace, and guide your days.  And take steps to care for your body.  Don't get me wrong, still eat that cake and love it, but maybe in moderation.  ;)

So there it is.  My top 10 thoughts as I enter this new decade.  There are many more that come to mind as I consider all the areas I feel I've grown in the past several years, but these are my favorites!  :)

No, We're Good!

For the second time today I had an experience where I get back in my car and think, "Why did I do that?"  Before I tell my little story, let me explain that I am an independent, Type A, "I got this" kind of woman.  I was raised in a family of very strong, independent, Type A, "I've got this" type of women.  I'll be honest, we pride ourselves on the ability to move heavy furniture across rooms, carry ALL of the groceries in on the first trip, keep up with all the chores and schedules, and, in general, do it all.  It has its advantages, but it also has very many disadvantages.  

If you read my last post, you know that we've been in a tough, overwhelming season.  Not because of any one thing, but because of all the little things that add up to make one gigantic thing.  You know?  And, I'll be honest, a lot of my struggle has been because I am (you guessed it) an independent, Type A, "I've got this" type of person. Because let's be real - I ain't got this!  I was not made to have this. I was not created to carry it all. I am not built to run myself ragged. And let's just go right out and say it, I was never asked, designed, or intended to carry and juggle all the balls without any help. In some cases, I wasn't asked to carry them at all, but I decided to pick them up without being asked!  (Anybody with me there?)

One major disadvantage to my personality, is not knowing how to accept help.  I mean, at all!  So now to my story.  I was headed out of the grocery store today with Ruth in the cart, Caleb trailing along beside me, and two giant, heavy bags of groceries.  While pushing the cart back where it goes and preparing myself to carry both big bags and a little Ruth while watching Caleb, a gentleman asked if I needed any help.  Based on what I described (and I'm sure how I looked), the answer was yes.  But what I found coming out of my mouth was, "No, I think we're good!"  Really??  Despite knowing that I could use an extra hand, even then I couldn't seem to accept help.  After getting across the parking lot, loading everybody in, and getting in myself, I realized what I had done.  Would it really have been that awful to let this man carry one of my bags 20 feet to my car? 

Two things came to mind as I kicked myself for not just letting someone help me.  First, was something my mom and grandma often say - "Don't take away my blessing!"  It's used when someone wants to help and we refuse.  We've taken away that person's opportunity to bless us.  Second, was a scripture in 1 Corinthians 10:23 where we're reminded that while something may be possible, it doesn't mean it's right.  Clearly, I could get both bags and both children to the car, but was it beneficial?  Was it necessary?  Not really.  Just because I can do it, doesn't mean I should.  

Lord, forgive me for trying to do it all.  Forgive me for thinking I ever could.  Teach me to accept help from others and from You.  Give me a humble heart, Father, that recognizes my limitations.  Let me be an example to my children that perfection is not important, to focus on the people around them, and to accept help.  Amen.

Nothing to Prove

This morning our pastor made a statement that really spoke to me.  He said -

"God approves of you.  You have nothing more to prove."

It seems so simple yet it is so incredibly powerful.  There is so much pressure to be "perfect" - clean house, well-behaved children, fit body, stylish wardrobe, healthy eating, ample finances, etc.  Truth is, trying to live out all of those expectations is exhausting and unrealistic.  It keeps us stressed, tense, and critical of others as we compare ourselves constantly to see if we've "met the mark."  When we realize that we are already fully approved by God, the task of "proving ourselves worthy" is complete and we experience REST - freedom from expectation.  We are able to sit back, spend time with God, learn more about how He created us (skills, gifts, and talents) and focus more on using the amazing, unique abilities He's given each of us.  And guess what!  When we work from a place of rest, out of the gifts He's given, we find JOY, PEACE, PURPOSE, and FULFILLMENT!

There's no special formula.  Nothing we have to do to get there.  We just have to realize it's already been done.  God looks at us and says, "My child, I love you and approve of you.  You will always be my child and I will always love you."  

Lord, let us rest in the knowledge that You love us and fully approve of us.  The work of being "good enough" is over because You have already fully accepted us.  Reveal to us the unique talents You've given us and help us explore them from a place of rest in a way that honors You.  Amen.

Dinner and Prayer

Two posts in one day?  Yep, I'm rebellious like that!  I wanted to share something along the lines of reclaiming the table that we've been doing consistently in our house for the last several months.  For many years it has been on my heart to pray for different countries around the world.  I've approached this in many different ways with every attempt ending the same - slowly forgetting the habit until months later I realize I haven't prayed for another country in a long time.  Our solution?  Bring that country into more than just our prayer time.  This may work for you and it may not, but here's what we do:

Each week we have a "letter of the week."  (Our son is only 9 months old, but I want to get in the habit now of teaching him things along the way.)  Last week our letter was "U."  Whatever the letter I go to the Operation World website and find a country starting with that letter.  The next step is the most fun - that country goes up on our Menu board and I find a recipe from there that is as authentic as we can manage.  The results are so fun!  We see that country's name every day as a reminder to pray for them and we get to try new food.  I used to work at a place that taught me a lot about different parts of the world and I miss it.  I got to see first hand what it looked like to introduce very young children to different cultures, languages, foods, clothing, etc. and always loved how it taught children that not everyone will look or sound the same or even eat the same foods, but that we can love them and pray for them just the same.  And that is a lesson I think many of us need reminding of!

One part of this process I have found the most time consuming is finding the recipes.  I've gathered quite a few since we started and thought, if you're interested, I could save you a little bit of time by posting some of the recipes we've used.  Some have become absolute favorites (thank you Ecuador for your Chaulafan de Pollo!) and others give us practice in politely trying foods we aren't used to yet!  ;)  Here is the dish we made from Uganda:

Chickennat

This was a very hearty, warm dish.  The chicken and peanut butter over rice makes it very filling!

Ingredients:

One 2-3 pound chicken (we just used two chicken breasts)

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp ground black pepper

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup onion, chopped

1 pint (2 cups) chicken stock (I used bullion cubes dissolved in water)

3/4 cup peanut butter (we've found peanut butter in many of the African recipes we've tried)

1-2 egg yolks

Several sprigs of parsley, coarsely chopped (we used dried parsley)

Directions:

1. Rub the chicken pieces with salt and pepper.  

2. Melt butter in a large, heavy skillet or stew pot, and add the chicken and onions.  Cover and simmer over lowest heat, periodically adding stock until you have used it all.

3. After 15 minutes, remove half cup of the cooking liquid to thin the peanut butter. Add to the pot and bring to a boil.  (Times vary depending on how much chicken you used.)

4. Reduce heat and then whisk some of the hot stew liquid into the egg yolks.  Add to the pot and stir to incorporate the egg mixtrue into the stew.

5. Simmer gently until the chicken is done.  Be careful not to heat the stew about a simmer from this point.

6. Garnish with parsley and serve with rice or corn porridge.

Let me know if you try the recipe and what your family thought of it.  We're trying a recipe from Venezuela tomorrow!  I'll be sure to share it with you soon.  :)

"When they had seen Him . . . "

First, a completely unrelated thought - Some days we feel so close to and on fire for God and the next day He feels distant.  Don't be discouraged, for God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8).  He never changes!  When we feel distant, we shouldn't give up or think He has left us, for those who ask, receive; those who seek, find; and those who knock find the door opened (Luke 11:10).

Now back to those shepherds (Luke 2:8-20):

Another thought to ponder - why shepherds?  There were plenty of other "common" people around.  Many people were in Bethlehem because of the census, yet God called some shepherds who were tending their flocks in a field outside of the city.  At the moment, the most logical answer for me is that God announced His Son's birth to shepherds first because Jesus would be the ultimate shepherd, laying down His life for His flock (John 10:11).

The next lesson came from Luke 2:17.  I have a passion for discipleship.  I love to support, encourage, and share in others' walks with Christ.  There is nothing more exciting than to see someone seek out and run full-force towards Him.  But the shepherds reminded me of something very important.  Notice the order of events in this verse.  "When they had seen Him . . . "  The first step was to encounter Christ for themselves.  They heard what they angels said, but before they told anyone else, they went to see for themselves.  It was only after they had that experience that they "spread the word concerning Him."  The crucial first step in living a life all-out for Christ is encountering Him for ourselves.  We cannot rely on the faith of our parents, grandparents, friends, etc.  We can't "ride their coattails" along this journey of faith.  We must make it our own by having our own encounter and experience with Christ. 

Finally, the shepherds' story ends in Scripture by saying they saw everything "just as they had been told" (Luke 2:20).  Our God is a God of Truth.  We can trust what He says!!

Along the Way

Then Jesus went through the towns and villages, teaching as He made His way to Jerusalem. – Luke 13:22

When I read this passage the other morning it caught me so off guard I had to take a moment to consider this short verse and its incredible impact.  Perhaps you're like me.  You get so focused on where you're headed that you don't even realize what you're passing along the way.  Have you ever gotten in the car headed to a pretty routine place (maybe school or the grocery store) and suddenly you're there?  You don't remember stopping at the lights or merging into the next lane.  Honestly, you're kind of hoping you didn't break any traffic laws getting there! 

Too often that's how we live our lives.  We have an end destination in mind that we're so focused on reaching we don't even realize we're living day by day.  We get to the end of a week and think Man!  Is it Friday already?  That's why this verse is so important.  Jesus had a destination.  He was headed to Jerusalem, but consider the multitude of stories we read about that happen on His way to Jerusalem.  He didn't get so focused on getting there that He ignored those around Him.  Instead it says that He "went through the towns and villages" (didn't bypass them!), "teaching as He made His way to Jerusalem."  He could have walked around those towns and kept on going, but He made it a point to stop and talk to the people, heal, and grant forgiveness.

How about you?  Are you stopping in the towns and villages that need to hear the message you carry?  Or are you bypassing them, not even realizing they're there as you make your way to your destination?

Second Fiddle

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."  ~ Jeremiah 1:5

God recently reminded me of the story of Leah, Rachel, and Jacob (Gen 29).  If you're not familiar with the story, here's the gist:  Jacob loved Rachel at first sight and spoke to her father about marrying her.  A deal was made that Jacob would work for her father, Laban, for seven years and they would then be permitted to marry.  But upon their wedding night, Laban gave Leah, Rachel's older sister, to Jacob.  Check out Jacob's response:

When morning came, there was Leah!  So Jacob said to Laban, "What is this you have done to me?  I served you for Rachel, didn't I?  Why have you deceived me?"  - Genesis 29:25

Can you imagine how Leah felt?  She was married to this man who didn't want her and made it plainly known that this is not what he signed up for.  Essentially, she was not his first choice – she was second fiddle.  And when you hear this story, no one ever thinks, You know I would just love to be Leah.  That's what I strive for, to be second choice!  Certainly not!  We, or at least I, desire to be the first choice.  I want to be wanted.  I want to be seen as useful and a good choice.  But you know what?  Oftentimes in our society, people feel a lot like Leah.  We get to thinking we're not good as the person next to us.  Opportunities arise and we pass by them thinking, So and so is a better choice for that.  I'm just not as good at this as they are. 

Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else.  ~ Galatians 6:4

Wanna know something wonderful?  With God, you are never the second choice.  You are His first choice for the plans and purposes He has for your life.  He has given you a unique purpose that only YOU can fulfill.  Consider all the people who tried to back out of their calling (the plan God had for them) – Moses feared he couldn't speak as well as someone else (Exodus 3:11), Jeremiah thought he was too young (Jeremiah 1:6), Jonah simply didn't want to do what God was asking (Jonah 1:3 )– yet God never abandoned them.  He never once thought, You know what?  You're right.  Maybe you're not the best choice.  Nevermind, I'll get someone else to do that!  He had a purpose wrapped up in their lives and they were His first and only choice.  God feels the same about you.  You are NOT second fiddle.  You are first choice! 

 

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.   ~ Psalm 139:15-16

No One from That Tribe . . .

He of whom these things are said belonged to a different tribe, and no one from that tribe has ever served at the altar. For it is clear that our Lord descended from Judah, and in regard to that tribe Moses said nothing about priests. – Hebrews 7:13-14

Have you ever read The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien?  Perhaps it can best be identified as the "prequel" to the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.  In the story, Bilbo, a hobbit, is paired with 13 dwarves for a grand adventure through many treacherous paths.  At one point, after facing many challenges already, the group arrives at Mirkwood, the enchanted forest.  Bilbo is quite reluctant to enter, wishing he could leave with Gandalf, a wizard who had guided them to this point.  As a hobbit, Bilbo was not expected to be an adventurer and, with his small size, was seen as only capable of helping with very small tasks.  Although he managed to rescue himself once, many other times the dwarves, a hardy bunch, were expected to lend a hand in getting little Bilbo out of trouble.  Despite knowing all of this about Bilbo, Gandalf turns to him and says, "You have got to look after these dwarves for me."  Gandalf saw great potential in Bilbo.  This unlikely scenario of the hobbit needing to assist the dwarves would have seemed rather funny to those listening.  But Gandalf knew what he was talking about and, sure enough, Bilbo came in quite handy for those dwarves!

It might seem like an odd introduction to give a brief, limited plot summary of a children's story, but as I read this I thought of how God looks at each of His children.  He does not see what earthly eyes see, but instead sees the potential and the great plans He's prepared for each of us.  Have you ever heard or thought something like this – I grew up in that neighborhood so there's pretty much no way I'm going to college.  Or I'm a girl.  I'm not supposed to be good at science.  Maybe even I'm just a member of the church, not the pastor!  What am I supposed to do about that? 

It's for this reason that I love the above verse from Hebrews.  Up to this point the author of Hebrews has been discussing the priesthood of Christ.  Then here he suddenly notes that it was completely unexpected for Christ to be a priest since He came from the tribe of Judah.  Essentially, Jesus was from the "wrong" neighborhood to be a priest.  If you need another example, consider David.  He was the youngest of his brothers and yet became the King of Israel.  Then there's Joseph, a Hebrew in Egypt that after being a slave and a prisoner becomes the second in command of all of Egypt.  Consider also

Paul, a man who persecuted the Church only to become one of its greatest missionaries!  All were people who came from unexpected places to serve in great ways. 

Perhaps you limit yourself because of who you are, where you grew up, how much money you have, what kind of education you've received, how you look . . . the list is endless.  God says today – I created you for My Glory.  I handcrafted and formed you with every aspect of your life in mind.  You might seem like the "unlikely" or "unexpected" candidate for something, but know that if I have called you to it, I give you the strength and ability to fulfill it. 

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.  – 1 Peter 4:11

Jesus himself, as a priest, did not come from the expected tribe.  No priest had ever come from the tribe of Judah.  What about you?  What is unexpected of you based on your "tribe?"  God might very well be calling you to exactly that.  Don't deny yourself the possibilities of God's calling on your life, especially if He is leading you to them.  You are not a statistic, you are not bound by your environment.  You are a child of God created with purpose.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart. – Jeremiah 1:5a

Standing Strong

At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them.  But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. – 2 Timothy 4:16-17

Have you ever wanted to do something, but it seemed like nobody else wanted you to do it?  Maybe they weren't actively stopping you, but they also weren't supporting you?  Perhaps it was something you felt God leading you to do – starting a new ministry, working with a particular demographic, changing jobs, moving, financially supporting an organization, etc.  The possibilities are endless.  If this has ever happened to you, you're not alone.  The great missionary and apostle to the Gentiles, Paul, faced the same challenges.

In writing to Timothy he says that no one supported him when he shared the Gospel and some even abandoned him.  This gives the impression that some who were following Christ and working alongside Paul in his mission turned away from him.  Maybe you've experienced this – a close friend or relative that suddenly turned away from supporting you and the mission God gave you.  Don't lose heart. 

Consider Paul's response to this situation:

May it not be held against them. – 2 Timothy 4:16b

First, Paul didn't hold a grudge.  Easy to say, hard to do!  These people, some friends knowing the importance of this mission, abandoned him, yet Paul did not ask God to come against them or bring hardship in response to their desertion.  Instead, he asks that their inability to stand firm with him not be held against them.  He had compassion on them.

But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength . . . 2 Timothy 4:17a

Second, Paul recognized and accepted the Lord's strength.  It can be easy to face these hardships and keep pushing on thinking, Fine!  I'll just do it on my own!  I didn't need your support anyway!  In doing this we forget Who called us to this mission in the first place.  God doesn't call you to something and leave you halfway to the finish line with no strength, no resources, and no help.  Recognize that the Lord called you to this and He will see you through, providing all you need to accomplish the goal He has set before you.

. . . so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. – 2 Timothy 4:17b

Finally, Paul carried on for the Glory of God!  Consider this – what if Paul had decided he was defeated and gave up?  Think of how many Gentiles, how many people, may have never heard the love of Christ.  What about your mission?  Who would miss out if you gave up?  The enemy will try to tell you that your mission is small and unimportant, that you're not really doing anything anyways.  I mean what difference could you actually make for the Kingdom?  Never believe this.  Your mission, no matter how big or how small you perceive it to be, is vital.  God created you for a purpose and a destiny laid out before the creation of the world.  There is someone waiting for you that they might hear, see, and experience the love of their Creator. 

Press on so that at the end you can say with confidence what Paul declared:

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."  - 2 Timothy 4:7

P.S.  Immediately after God spoke to me concerning this message I turned on my iPod and this awesome song from Big Daddy Weave came on.  It was so perfect and fit so well that I wanted to share it with you.  Unfortunately I haven't been able to find an audio or video file of this song.  So until I run across this, please enjoy the lyrics.  And I encourage you to try finding the song yourself to listen to!

My child I've hoped and I've prayed for this very day,

Since you were just a little one,

And oh how my heart swells with pride,

As I watch the man that you've become.

But this life offers no guarantees,

And though my time on this earth had to end,

I'm sure that your heart would know peace,

If you could just see where I am.

From here the race has been run and love's already won,

I see clearly the end and the start,

From here I'm cheering you on,

So live out each breath with all that you've got.

Oh, and know until I hold you close,

I'll be holding you dear in my heart from here.

I've seen your tears as you've waited alone,

Longing for the special one,

And now all the waiting is done,

As you gaze into her eyes seeing the reflection of love.

Life's road may seem rough up ahead,

And form now you see only in part,

So hold onto each other and know,

That there is an end to the dark.

From here the race has been run and love's already won,

I see clearly the end and the start,

From here I'm cheering you on,

So live out each breath with all that you've got.

Oh, and know until I hold you close,

I'll be holding you dear in my heart from here.

Heaven is calling and my heart keeps longing,

Looking so forward to the day,

When we'll be together forever in eternity,

Just you wait and see.

From here the race has been run and love's already won,

I see clearly the end and the start,

From here I’m cheering you on,

So live out each breath with all that you've got.

Oh, and know until I hold you close,

I'll be holding you dear in my heart from here, yeah, from here.

Power of a Testimony

Pan-African University in Ghana, West Africa

They only heard the report: “The man who formerly persecuted us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy.” And they praised God because of me. – Galatians 1:23-24

During my time in Ghana I discovered the importance of testimony.  I had always known that one's testimony has power, but in a developed world where knowledge is power and your arguments must be supported by well-documented scientific research, the simple testimony seems to have lost its significance.  We feel we must present a well laid-out presentation of what we believe and why in order for it to truly mean something.  Although this is important and there are certainly many people in this world who desire and need a more "academic" approach, there are just as many who will be touched by your story.  Nothing fancy, just you telling what God has done in and through you.  Consider how God used the testimonies of two men in the New Testament to further the Gospel of Jesus Christ:

Many people, because they had heard that [Jesus] had performed this sign, went out to meet Him. So the Pharisees said to one another, “See, this is getting us nowhere. Look how the whole world has gone after Him!” – John 12:18-19

In this passage the "sign" they talk about is Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead.  What a testimony!  And you know what I find even more awesome than that?  It's the lack of action on Lazarus' part.  Many times we think our testimony has to be about what we've done or what we've accomplished because of the Lord.  Here is a man the Pharisees are conspiring to kill along with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ because he did nothing!  Lazarus' whole testimony is about what Jesus did for him when he could do nothing for himself.  Now that's a testimony that inspires.

Then consider Paul:

For you have heard of my previous way of life in Judaism, how intensely I persecuted the church of God and tried to destroy it . . . They only heard the report: “The man who formerly persecuted us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy.” And they praised God because of me.  – Galatians 1:13, 23-24

Your testimony, your story, can have eternal impact in the lives of those around you.  Reading Scripture or testimonies of famous, historical individuals is awesome, but we can easily distance ourselves from them.  We think Well, that happened to them, but I'm not that significant.  Why would God come through like for me?  Your story could be what someone needs to hear to give them hope.  It shows that God cares for and loves every person equally and desires to move and bless on their behalf. 

Don't be ashamed of your testimony.  Don't hold back because you think it sounds too subjective or you think it's not big enough.  God gave you that testimony just like He gave Paul and Lazarus their testimonies.  It's a gift to be used for His glory.  A gift to bring life, hope, and joy to those around you.  Be the light in a dark world.

They triumphed over him
   by the blood of the Lamb
   and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
   as to shrink from death.

– Revelation 12:11