Change of Plans

Can I be real with you?  Like really, really real?  The last couple months have been rough.  Crazy work schedules, quick trips, crazy two year old behavior, a clingy, fussy baby, many nights of broken sleep, illnesses, doctor visits, prescriptions, missed events, and the list seems to go on.  After talking with a bunch of people I know that I'm not alone and, in the grand scheme of things, my difficulties have been exceptionally minor.  But that doesn't mean it hasn't been hard. 

This past weekend we had three Christmas parties to attend!  THREE!  One each night of the weekend.  While it was a bit overwhelming, especially since Lucas had to work this weekend, I was also really excited at the chance to get away from the house and celebrate the season with friends.  Cue Friday night's work party where the snow gave me the slight question of whether we should drive all the way in to the city to pick up our children's amazing aunt who would be watching them for us.  Lucas made it there and back without any difficulty and the night was a fun break from the normal.  We did lose power for a few hours overnight, but all in all things went surprisingly well.

Then came Saturday.  About halfway through the day I got a text from Lucas which included a picture of his near swollen shut eye with a note saying he would be headed to an urgent care as soon as he was off because he was pretty certain he had pink eye.  Without getting into ALL the crazy details, we missed our party.  One that we had all been so excited to attend.  Instead we wandered through Sam's Club, had Chic-fil-a drive thru, watched a short Christmas movie, and went off to bed trying not to admit just how upset we were.  The next morning we began to watch Caleb for pink eye thinking he would certainly get it.  That night we were to have another Christmas party with some wonderful friends and, again, we were all so excited (including the kids) until the possibility was raised that maybe we shouldn't go for fear of passing along pink eye.  I literally held back tears as we discussed the possibility.  I know it might seem silly, but after the crazy month we had experienced and the excitement over the party (not to mention all the cookies we had baked!) I just couldn't handle the thought of missing something else.  I'm pretty sure my words and attitude were simple, "I give up."

As I drove Ruth and I to church so the boys could stay home and not potentially share any germs, I felt so incredibly defeated. My opportunity for a fun-filled weekend was once again disappearing and I just wanted a break from it all.  During the last worship song that morning, my attitude was changed.  Not completely, not entirely, but my perspective was shifted as we sang these words:

By Your Spirit I will rise,

From the Ashes of Defeat.

The resurrected King is resurrecting me!

Your Name, Your Name is VICTORY!

It felt as though God was speaking directly to me in that moment.  I had a choice to make.  I could remain upset and disappointed, looking at our weekend and this day as a wasted opportunity for fun or I could find a way to make the best of what we had left of the day.  So I formulated a plan as I drove home to mix up a batch of gingerbread dough (despite the 6 batches of cookies already strewn about the kitchen) and we would put together a gingerbread house as a family that night instead of getting to go to the party.  I was still disappointed, but my new plan gave me something to look forward to and something different to get excited about.  Turns out we were able to attend the party and our gingerbread house waited until the following night to be constructed!

Very often I have a strict plan or schedule in my mind and I can get pretty excited about the things in store for us, but when plans fall apart I discover that I'm not as flexible as I'd like to think.  I freeze.  I keep thinking about what I'm missing instead of what God could be doing.  

Lord, help me to trust You when my plans fall through.  Cause me to look to You for the new plan.  To not get frustrated and disappointed, but to get excited about what You have in store for us.  Amen

Along the Way

Then Jesus went through the towns and villages, teaching as He made His way to Jerusalem. – Luke 13:22

When I read this passage the other morning it caught me so off guard I had to take a moment to consider this short verse and its incredible impact.  Perhaps you're like me.  You get so focused on where you're headed that you don't even realize what you're passing along the way.  Have you ever gotten in the car headed to a pretty routine place (maybe school or the grocery store) and suddenly you're there?  You don't remember stopping at the lights or merging into the next lane.  Honestly, you're kind of hoping you didn't break any traffic laws getting there! 

Too often that's how we live our lives.  We have an end destination in mind that we're so focused on reaching we don't even realize we're living day by day.  We get to the end of a week and think Man!  Is it Friday already?  That's why this verse is so important.  Jesus had a destination.  He was headed to Jerusalem, but consider the multitude of stories we read about that happen on His way to Jerusalem.  He didn't get so focused on getting there that He ignored those around Him.  Instead it says that He "went through the towns and villages" (didn't bypass them!), "teaching as He made His way to Jerusalem."  He could have walked around those towns and kept on going, but He made it a point to stop and talk to the people, heal, and grant forgiveness.

How about you?  Are you stopping in the towns and villages that need to hear the message you carry?  Or are you bypassing them, not even realizing they're there as you make your way to your destination?

The Good Shepherd's Path

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His Name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. – Psalm 23:1-4

Have you ever experienced a time in your life where you felt like your relationship with God was on fire?  You took time out of each day to pray, read God's Word, talk to Him, and just spend time with Him.  Difficult things would come up, but you immediately took them to the Lord and knew that, ultimately, He was in control.  Have you ever gotten so distracted by life, deadlines, work, etc. that you lost that? 

I was there just last week.  Finishing up classes for the semester – papers to write, final exams to take – totally took my focus off the Lord.  I still took time in the morning to do my devotions, but they just felt empty.  I would come to the end of the day, exhausted, and feel like I just didn't have any more strength, energy, or time to spend with God.  So instead I read books for fun, claiming it was a stress-release.  I watched movies and tv, pointing to my work load and saying I deserved it.  Yet I would still come to the end of my day and somehow claim I didn't have any leftover time for God.  Each day I felt more and more empty.  Assignments piled up, I stayed stressed, and the work never seemed to diminish.  Somehow I made it to the end of the semester, but I was drained.  And then I attended a service on campus where God showed me what I had been attempted to do:

You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the One who calls you. – Galatians 5:7-8

I realized that I was trying to do everything on my own.  I had been running a good race – following the Lord, leaning on Him, and then slowly started turning to my own interests, my own desires.  An image of a path came into my mind.  Instead of running on the path, however, I found myself running just to the side of it.  My feet were getting caught up in mud, my face was hit by branches, and I constantly had to dodge trees.  As I watched this scene in my mind I couldn't help but think, How silly!  Wouldn't it make so much more sense to run on that flat, straight path right there?  There are no branches to hit my face, no mud to slow me down, no trees to dodge.  In the midst of this thought the Lord very gently said, "Crystal, I've laid this path out just for you.  It's flat, straight, and firm.  You chose to step off the path and run.  When you're ready, the path is still there.  I'm not moving it.  Just step back onto it and I can help."

As I realized how easily I had stepped off the path I began to cry out to the Lord to set up guardrails, some sort of fence that would keep me from stepping so easily off the path.  Even as I prayed this God began to show me that He is the Good Shepherd.  As my Shepherd, His crook gently nudges me back to the path.  If I allow him to gently lead me with His crook, I'll never get stuck in that mud again.  I simply need to recognize the crook of my Shepherd, the sound of His voice:

"I am the Good Shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me--just as the Father knows me and I know the Father--and I lay down my life for the sheep. – John 10:14-15

God has a path laid out for your life and as your Good Shepherd He desires to see you thrive and flourish as you walk along that path.  When we try to make choices without His input, complete tasks without leaning on His strength, and live as if we have to figure everything out on our own, we get caught up in the mud of life.  Branches hit our face and trees come up before us.  But remember that your Father is also your Good Shepherd.  We can choose to rebel and push away from the crook He sets out to guide us on the path or we can recognize that He truly is the Good Shepherd and desires only the best for us.  When we do this we will see that crook not as something keeping us from things we want, but as a comfort and blessing that protects us and keeps us on the path.

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. - Psalm 23:4b

Remember

Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times." And he broke down and wept. – Mark 14:72

Has God ever spoken something to you and then the next day, next week, next year you've completely forgotten about it?  Then something comes up and suddenly you remember everything He said?  I can recall doing that with a calling God made clear to me my freshman year of college.  At that time I felt God was calling me to the mission field, but I also felt certain that I was to finish school first.  I quickly got caught up in classes, majors, and future plans to the point that I forgot this calling.  It wasn't until I was accepted into Regent University's School of Divinity with a full scholarship that I suddenly remembered several years before when God told me I would be doing this.

For a while I wondered how I could forget something that significant for my life.  I found some comfort in the fact that I certainly was not the first to encounter this forgetfulness.  In Mark 14 we find the story of the last Passover Jesus celebrated with His disciples before His crucifixion.  At one point Jesus tells His disciples that all of them will fall away from Him.  It says:

Peter declared, "Even if all fall away, I will not." "I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown Me three times." – Mark 14:30-31

That very night Peter denied Christ three times just as Jesus said he would (Mark 14:72).  We might look at this passage and wonder how in the world Peter could have forgotten the words of Christ within the same day they were spoken!  But we must consider this in comparison to our own lives.  Peter had a lot going on.  His friend and Messiah had been arrested, those at the trial were obviously hostile towards Jesus and, in turn, His followers, and Peter was caught in the midst of all of it.  He proceeded without thought as to what Jesus had said.  He was so caught up in the situation and the speed with which life was happening in that moment that he acted without remembering first.

Was that the end of Peter?  Was he from then on forgotten, denied, and rejected because He forgot the words of his Lord?  No!  Emphatically no!  The book of Acts is riddled with the actions and words of Peter.  In Galatians 2:8 he is called an apostle to the Jews.  And let us not forget that he is credited with writing two books of the New Testament!  God recognizes that we are a forgetful people.  Consider this:  the word "remember" is used 166 times in the New International Version.  God is constantly telling His people to remember and even showing them ways in which they can remember:

Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth. – Genesis 9:16

Remember this, fix it in mind, take it to heart, you rebels.  Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me.  – Isaiah 46:8-9

Perhaps you forgot something God commanded you to do, or not do.  Maybe it was a promise God made to you.  It could even be something God did in your life that you had forgotten about.  Take a moment to ask God to remind you of His word to you.  He is faithful to answer.  And never feel that you are somehow unworthy or rejected because you forgot what the Lord spoke to you.  Again, He is a faithful God, He created you, He loves you, and He still wants the absolute best for you.

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. – John 14:26

"For your first time you truly repent"

This past weekend a wonderful thing happened.  My cousin accepted Jesus as his personal savior!  :) 

"In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."  ~ Luke 15:10

Just a few days after this glorious decision, he wrote this poem.  I was pretty blown away and wanted to share it with you:

As she stares with her scarlet eyes,
Her white face pale with dishonesty,
She finds humor as beauty dies,
And fills the gap with hypocrisy.

You open your mouth, you're voice is lame
You open your eyes, you see she's near
You open your ears, she speaks her name
You gasp for air, for she is fear

Your mind and body are screaming for help
For your first time you truly repent
She touches your skin as you start to yelp
You hear a voice, "your help is sent"

Closing your eyes, you're blinded by light
Closing your mouth, you're robbed of air
You open your eyes to a beautiful sight
He's smiling upon you, you're free of despair.

~ Michael Malendoski

Radiance

When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord.  ~ Exodus 34:29

During worship tonight God reminded me of how He used to speak with Moses in the "tent of meeting" just outside the camp of the Israelites as they traveled in the desert (Exodus 33:7-11).  There are so many ways we can apply this to our own lives.  First of all, God still speaks to us. 

The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice.  He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.  ~ John 10:3

Jesus is the shepherd and we are the sheep.  We are made to recognize and follow His voice!  Notice also in Exodus how Moses goes outside of the camp to meet with and speak to God.  Let's face it - our daily lives are busy, loud, hectic, and stressful.  If the voice of the Lord comes in a gentle whisper as we read in 1 Kings 19:12, how can we possibly hear His voice over the noise of our daily life?  We need to step away, to separate ourselves so we can hear Him.  Jesus did this as well.  There are several times in the New Testament where it tells us Jesus went up a mountain to pray.  He did this in the Garden of Gethsemane the night He is taken away by the Roman soldiers (Matthew 26:36). 

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  ~ Psalm 40:2

The commentary in my Bible says that "slimy pit" literally means "pit of noise!"  He lifts us out of a "pit of noise" so that we can hear Him and stand firm!

Notice also that God is meeting with Moses as they travel through the desert.  This wasn't a fun trip.  Not a nice vacation for them.  It was a hard time.  Moses didn't choose not to go into the tent because things were just too tough to talk to God right now.  He met with and spoke to the Lord despite his circumstances.  Think also of Jesus in the Garden.  He was getting ready to face crucifixion.  He could have easily said, "Well, God's put me in this hard place so why would I want to talk to Him?"  No!  These men of God sought out a place to meet with the Lord.  Every time the camp moved, Moses had to put up the tent again!

My favorite part of this passage about Moses, however, is that his face was radiant after he spoke with the Lord.  Have you ever watched the faces of people after a church service or a time of worship?  If they have truly received something from the Lord, entered into worship with Him, there is something different about them.  They have a peace and a joy that is apparent in their countenance.  Their faces are radiant!  Our faces may not physically glow as Moses' did, but the effect is still the same. 

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:  that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.  ~ Psalm 27:4