He Delights in Me

Comparison.  My greatest temptation and the one area of my life that brings me the most sorrow, disappointment, and displeasure.  Perhaps this isn't an area you struggle with, but it has been a lifelong issue for me.  I compare my abilities, possessions, relationships, accomplishments, etc.  Every act I perform is held up next to someone else's similar act to see if I measure up, to see if I'm good enough.  When my son was born I had so many things I wanted to do with him - things I wanted to teach him, show him, and experience with him.  And in many ways I have done much of what I hoped to . . . with one small problem.  Each thing I did carried with it a question - "how will this compare with what so-and-so did?"  My old nemesis had sneaked its way into my relationship with my son.  Instead of doing things simply to enjoy him and love him, I did it in response to what others were doing.  I have been told over and over again, as I'm sure many mothers are, to cherish this time.  It seemed like such a strange suggestion.  Of course I'm going to cherish the time I have with my son.  Why wouldn't I?  And that is truly what I hoped to do, but comparison chipped away.  Trying to measure up and be "super mom" took away from just enjoying him.  It robbed me of the joy in the moment.   

This morning as my little man napped I read this verse and it has been on my heart all day:

He led me to a place of safety; He rescued me because He delights in me. - 2 Samuel 22:20

Here's the truth, God delights in me.  He rescued me and saved me not because of what I could do for Him or because of what I own, but because He created me and loves me.  There is no comparison.  He sees me as I am and delights in me.  I don't have to measure up.  I don't have to compete.  The same goes for being a mom.  Comparison makes me forget that God gave my son to me.  He will lead me in how to raise him.  He will teach me how to love my son unconditionally.  And how He leads me will very likely be different from other moms.  Is it wrong?  No.  It is better?  No. Is it a competition?  No.  I can delight with God in how He uses other moms in the lives of their children as I stand in amazement at how God leads me to be mommy to my Caleb.


I feel like Paul where he essentially says, "I don't speak as someone who has it all together, but I press on towards the goal" (Philippians 3:12).  I don't have this figured out.  I still struggle with comparing myself to others.  But what I take hope in is that Christ has grace for me and He will continually lead me as I venture ever farther into mommyhood.

You are NOT alone!

The other day I was driving down the interstate with my little buddy in the backseat.  We were coming up to a particularly bad area known for traffic so I merged into the far left lane in hopes of sneaking by the worst of it.  I had just started thinking how few cars were on the road when we came over the hill and were met with parked traffic.  :(  Apparently there was a very bad accident up ahead that had closed all lanes.  So much for making good time.  No worries though, little guy was quietly playing with his toys . . . until we had sat there about five minutes.  Suddenly he was wailing.  I assured him I felt the same way about the traffic and understood he was getting hungry, but there was nothing I could do.  We were suck in the far left lane next to two semis.  As 10, 20, 30 minutes passed I started becoming frantic.  My little guy was clearly miserable, needed mommy to hold him, and we were stuck!  I tried to turn on my blinker, but the semis couldn't go anywhere.  Finally there was a bit of a break and I hoped beyond hope that someone in the lane next to us could see our predicament and would let me over . . . no such luck.  I ended up calling mom (aren't moms great) who in turn called the state police to see what I should do (we had no idea when traffic would let up, only that little man wouldn't stop until he was out of that seat).  Basically, they told me to turn on my blinker, lay on the horn, roll down the window and yell at people - whatever I had to do to get to the off-ramp.  If you happen to know my personally, you probably know that's not likely to happen.  But as the traffic began to move again, a mom in the car next to me had begun to notice what was going on and motioned for me to come in front of her to get off the interstate!  Thank you, Jesus, for this mom who understood!  Who not only understood, but risked being cut of by others to let me in!!

Ok, that was a long description, but do you know the feeling?  You're having a hard time with your child, whatever that may look like, and you just want someone to give you a sympathetic smile, a helping hand, or even just to not look at you in judgment?!  Thankfully I was the only one who was bothered by my little guy, but I needed someone to help, someone to notice and offer assistance.  I heard a story the other day of a lady who brought her baby girl on a plane and was met with judgmental stares and rude comments . . . until the woman next to her offered to help.  Suddenly, that mom didn't feel so alone anymore.  Didn't feel so judged, so helpless.

I'm fairly certain that if you're a mom, you've experienced that feeling.  So what do we do about it?

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. - I Thessalonians 5:11

In simple terms, help each other.  Look out for each other.  Rather than give judgmental stares or unwanted advice, offer a kind smile.  Ask if there is anything you can do to help.  Meet a visible need.  Be the mom who shows other moms they're not alone.  Let's build each other up!

And to the mom who let me over - THANK YOU!